Loving Myself

How much do I love myself? Do I love myself in my fullness,and in all of my divine and humaneness?

For so long when I looked at the world and the people around me I either wanted no part of it or wanted to paste all of what I saw on my skin and pretend that was who I was.

I listened to “my” trauma and let it inform and rule me. I didn’t feel enough and constantly tried to find ways to feel enough. Compliments and love from others had no where to call home in me.

Now, before you get all sad for me and possibly for yourself listen further.

I do believe that some of my heartfelt cries enter a place that is sometimes called the prayer field. Little bit by little bit my healing began and continues in varied and sometimes unexpected ways.

I have been helped by therapies,and learning from my teachers and my mentors, visible and not. I have been helped by the folks that I walk alongside. One of my allies is Mother Earth, who has been with since childhood holding me through all of the ups and downs of living and learning.

This all came up as I prepare for a sacred journey to Peru, packing and unpacking, not even remembering what is in my suitcase, (it’s really heavy, will I have clothes?), and wondering what healing lies ahead.

This morning, I felt a great calm and a peace in going deeper into my simple self and feeling the feeling of “I am enough”. I am “sweet” (are you over 60?) on myself and this is what I have to share. The love I have for and in myself gives off a perfume. I can smell it and the perfume invites, attracts and expands. I can see/feel what I feel in myself in others.

Feeling/healing is a path but why do I do it? I am in human!!! And I want to enjoy my time as human! I love planting trees and seeing them grow, swimming in the ocean and rivers, visiting friends and family, feeling good in my body and so much more.

Had enough? Ok:) I had to write this for myself and I am sure it will come in handy as I continue. I feel you with me on this journey, my community members!!

Sending you love, Laura