Happy ThanksgivIng Everyone

I look at what I have and it brings deep work to the surface.
First, I am grateful for such simple abundance in my life. I am one of those people who used to be fearful of a future as a shopping cart woman living on the street. This is an intimate revealing and I am trusting you with it.

i will tell you a little about how this changed and continues to change for me.

i asked to understand and be relieved of the feelings of “I am not enough, I don’t have enough”.

Lessons began to come, some painful and some more academic.
The lessons come through circumstance, people and various forms of self education.You are not my therapist so I won’t give you all of the gory details.

A small example, I worried when I wasn’t able to provide everything that I thought my children needed to be happy.
Once upon a day, in a time past when my children were young, we were in the backyard of friends waiting for them to come home. We decided to eat the lunch we had brought, I think it was sandwiches, cut up veggies and a fruit with water. Neighborhood children appeared and were staring at us and our food. I offered them some carrots thinking they wouldn’t like them but they accepted and sat down to eat. That was when I decided we would cut up the sandwiches and divide all of the food equally.
Something, a gift, very big, washed over me that day. It was not a feeling of charity, but a feeling of love for children, whether they were “mine” or not. When my friend came home she explained that the mother had substance abuse issues and there wasn’t always money for food.
So, long story short, the lessons kept coming. I learned that my children’s and their father’s love (I was divorced) was more important than the financial support I thought we should receive. Etcetera…

I am always learning that figuring out what I really want opens up a pathway for me to receive.
I have a secret concerning my Great Aunt Nory that happened to me right as I was being divorced (also many years ago) that I will share with you some other time.

Don’t get me wrong, I love beautiful things AND I really want everyone to have their basic human needs fulfilled.
How big is my world and what does it take for the feeling of equilibrium?
One of my hidden secrets is what I have when all of this seems unavailable. I have the beautiful light, music of my soul, and breath that are with me always as my birthright as a human being. This nourishes and soothes me as I continue to embody my truth and the endless supply of support and goodness that helps me understand the giving and receiving nature of generosity a little bit better.