Planting Our Future

Every year I look forward to when the sugar maple in my front yard turns their leaves. The colors hit my eyes and vibrate through to my center.

I feel fortunate and also a good amount of pride and appreciation for my younger self. When we were working on this century old little house so that I could move in, I thought to plant this maple and other trees. I didn’t “need” to, there are hundreds of trees on the land that I live, I just thought, wouldn’t this be Beautiful.

Trees can take a long time to mature. Some trees live a very long time when compared to my life expectancy.

Did I dig the tree up when their first year was not what I hoped? No, I mulched and hoped for rain. I kept the deer from completely gnawing the bark through. Each year I appreciated growth and remained hopeful.

I am seventy.

When I was 12 the teachers let me play afterschool baseball with the boys for 2 days and then decided it wasn’t a good idea (my dad and grandpa were baseball players and I was making the boys feel bad).When I was 17 there were people who rolled (yes, rolled) down their car windows and yelled, “Shave your legs”, at me as I rode my bicycle down the same road. When I was 19 I was initiated with meditation as a gateway to myself and people were afraid for me.

There is a point to this and I know I’m not illustrating it properly.

I know that I am here right now and everything is not simply for the future. It is important what I am doing and feeling now. It’s important because this is my opportunity, this is my life, I am here.

The fact is that I am here and also that I am past and future. I am my grandmother and my granddaughter. I am the seed, the tree and the rotting log providing nurture to the seed.

We are in an amazing and terrifying place, we are becoming more aware and sensitive to the dimensions of our being and witnessing the constant change which is our evolution.

I tell myself, don’t be afraid, this is what “change” looks like, if you must, close your eyes for a moment, but don’t be afraid. I tell myself, live longer, live hundreds of years now, in this moment, thousands of years forward and back, live what was and will be and let it shine bright.

This story is not finished.

Thank you to my grandmother friends, my younger wise mentors and friends, and all of my fellow travelers. May we remain brave and wise and find our innocence in the babes, ancestors and future teachers.